Snack Lady

For weeks, I’ve been wondering who she is. She comes in once a week, usually Wednesdays, but I’m not always in the staff room so perhaps, it’s more often.

At first, I thought she was selling stamps. She wears a uniform that looks similar to the ones I’ve seen at the post office. However, after a few weeks, I realized there’s no possible way we were going through that many stamps to initiate a visit every week.

The two large bags she’s carrying are clear, but there’s something around the inside that blocks the contents from view. She is always peppy, a big smile on her face, and she shouts konnichiwa with gumption every visit to make herself known.

She’s only here for maybe fifteen minutes. Some days, the teachers mostly ignore her as she stands near the front of the staff room, eyes cast down. This strikes me as bizarre, because every other visitor is promptly attended to. And by that, I mean teachers jump up and run across the room to greet visitors, preventing them from waiting for even a minute.

Today though, the mystery was finally solved.

After I watched one teacher go up to this mysterious visitor, and hand over money, I watched the exchange intently. A juice box was handed over. Then another teacher got up, and got back a candy bar.

That’s when it became official. She is the Snack Lady.

Soon after, the vice principal was smiling as he happily carried his chocolate milk box away. My supervisor sat down next to me sipping her own juice box of tea. One of my coworkers spent a long time deliberating over her choice before purchasing five yogurt drinks that she’s currently stockpiling in the fridge.

For some reason, I find everything about the Snack Lady hilarious and I’ve been unsuccessful at covering up my laughter all day.

The thing is the Snack Lady never sells snacks to the students—the assumed target consumer. Nope, she only sells snacks to the teachers—grown adults who are entirely capable of buying their own snacks with their own vehicles at one of the many conbinis or grocery stores. There’s something quite cute and remarkably funny about it, seeing all these adults carrying around juice boxes.

Regardless, I’m now very curious about the Snack Lady’s job. Does she visit every school in the area? Is this how she makes money, by selling snacks at all the area schools? How on earth does the business turn a profit? If it does, please get me involved!

I’ll update this as I discover more information. For now, I’ll appreciate the mood changes that correspond with when the Snack Lady arrives. Maybe one day, I’ll stand up and jump on the juice box train, too.